American Gangster - great film. Loved how it tied together.
You should really do your GTD and routine more thoroughly, it makes you feel good and gives you direction, you fool.
Wednesday, 22 September 2010
Saturday, 18 September 2010
Thursday, 16 September 2010
17-09-10
Not much to report. FSFC and wiping the info dome, sandwiched with personal routine.
4 goals in life.
1. self actualized mindset and mind - control, relaxation, inspired, focused, get goingness, fearless eidactic memory
2. body and cash - dectathlete, MMA, plus 500k a year and 2 mil. in savings.
3. one man band on anything - drums, guitar/bass, keys, vocals, plus extras - and inspired art
4. networking for social change
Straight up. Let's go.
4 goals in life.
1. self actualized mindset and mind - control, relaxation, inspired, focused, get goingness, fearless eidactic memory
2. body and cash - dectathlete, MMA, plus 500k a year and 2 mil. in savings.
3. one man band on anything - drums, guitar/bass, keys, vocals, plus extras - and inspired art
4. networking for social change
Straight up. Let's go.
Monday, 6 September 2010
06-09
One Man LOTR - rather amusing and good impressions.
Guthrie + favourite guitarists all noted down in Lifetime. Play like em...maybe even better
Run routine!
Guthrie + favourite guitarists all noted down in Lifetime. Play like em...maybe even better
Run routine!
Tuesday, 17 August 2010
18-08-10
Watched Mulholland Drive in the sauna - amazing film. Wanted to watch Blue Velvet again. 70 minutes at 56 degrees led to me floating but thin. Good stuff. Better than Inception in my opinion - or most other films of this ilk. Surreal bedroom!
Not smelling brain tumour smells anymore. Perfect health.
Was radically honest today. Felt alive. Talked to Sophia about it - felt terrific and happy. You know that you've manifested something - because you are where you are. Intimacy turns me on - so does success. I've been getting in my own way because I hate myself. Always tell the truth.
5*'d 3 more on GH Metallica. Down to 6 songs left on that one now. Gradual progress on CBT - 93% on 90. Anything plastic!
Dafnis Prieto is God. Play like him!
ACCIDENTALLY MADE A SALE ON CLICK BANK. - Asked for my LCF login page and details back. Good call Garth (good call Wayne). It took 155 dollars to make 40. But it was worth it. 2k a day there!
Investigated social networking for spiritual growth - IT ONLY WORKS WHEN YOU'RE ALIGNED. Align and steal from everyone!
Fight.Keep fit. You're on your own. Work hard.
Check back here every month. If you're not scared, you're not working hard enough.
Not smelling brain tumour smells anymore. Perfect health.
Was radically honest today. Felt alive. Talked to Sophia about it - felt terrific and happy. You know that you've manifested something - because you are where you are. Intimacy turns me on - so does success. I've been getting in my own way because I hate myself. Always tell the truth.
5*'d 3 more on GH Metallica. Down to 6 songs left on that one now. Gradual progress on CBT - 93% on 90. Anything plastic!
Dafnis Prieto is God. Play like him!
ACCIDENTALLY MADE A SALE ON CLICK BANK. - Asked for my LCF login page and details back. Good call Garth (good call Wayne). It took 155 dollars to make 40. But it was worth it. 2k a day there!
Investigated social networking for spiritual growth - IT ONLY WORKS WHEN YOU'RE ALIGNED. Align and steal from everyone!
Fight.Keep fit. You're on your own. Work hard.
Check back here every month. If you're not scared, you're not working hard enough.
Monday, 16 August 2010
16-08-10
Watched Sunset Boulevard. Tremendous.
Things I liked - opening shot - comparing Hollywood to a 'murder scene'. The emotional turnaround by the end is big enough to make you forget, for it to be a surprise again.
Sober narration - infused with a wry cynicism.
The main character is the 'everyman', an archetype that the audience can get hooked on - financial difficulty being a very strong point of identification - even for just 300 bucks. Relief when he turns up at Norma Desmond's house.
Sheldrake and his 'set of ulcers' - no one gets away clean. Believable.
Honesty of the female lead - again an archetype of the optimism of the young that Hollywood destroys.
Use of contemporary events to increase realism ('naked and the dead', 'gone with the wind'.
Narration continues at a steady pace whilst the plot thickens and plays on emotional involvement.
Use of mystery and the unexplained - melodramatic lead performance. Subtle musical embellishment and cinematography - wide open sets.
Gradual building up of subtext and tension.
The use of the 'new years scene' to provide a relative contrast on 'reality'
Sly humour and knowingness that this is a reflection upon the grand culmination of all of Western civilization and it's ultimate failure and futility - the descent into radical honesty.
The horror organ is great - plus the 'waxworks' and the pool and the monkey and the Chaplin impression with the out of tune piano, the lighting during Max's revelation - very eerie.
Exactly like Miss Havisham.
This film is totally fat free - everything leads into everything else. It all follows the emotional beats that are set up and is utterly relevant, right up until the point where it's spelt out. The actors know this, and play it just the right side of melodrama. The subtle inferring of Joe whoring out his services never has to be shown like it is nowadays, because it's all about the gaping hole in these people's characters and their desperate attempts to plug the hole before they go down with the ship.
Things I liked - opening shot - comparing Hollywood to a 'murder scene'. The emotional turnaround by the end is big enough to make you forget, for it to be a surprise again.
Sober narration - infused with a wry cynicism.
The main character is the 'everyman', an archetype that the audience can get hooked on - financial difficulty being a very strong point of identification - even for just 300 bucks. Relief when he turns up at Norma Desmond's house.
Sheldrake and his 'set of ulcers' - no one gets away clean. Believable.
Honesty of the female lead - again an archetype of the optimism of the young that Hollywood destroys.
Use of contemporary events to increase realism ('naked and the dead', 'gone with the wind'.
Narration continues at a steady pace whilst the plot thickens and plays on emotional involvement.
Use of mystery and the unexplained - melodramatic lead performance. Subtle musical embellishment and cinematography - wide open sets.
Gradual building up of subtext and tension.
The use of the 'new years scene' to provide a relative contrast on 'reality'
Sly humour and knowingness that this is a reflection upon the grand culmination of all of Western civilization and it's ultimate failure and futility - the descent into radical honesty.
The horror organ is great - plus the 'waxworks' and the pool and the monkey and the Chaplin impression with the out of tune piano, the lighting during Max's revelation - very eerie.
Exactly like Miss Havisham.
This film is totally fat free - everything leads into everything else. It all follows the emotional beats that are set up and is utterly relevant, right up until the point where it's spelt out. The actors know this, and play it just the right side of melodrama. The subtle inferring of Joe whoring out his services never has to be shown like it is nowadays, because it's all about the gaping hole in these people's characters and their desperate attempts to plug the hole before they go down with the ship.
Monday, 9 August 2010
09-08-10
Did 8 hours of Mobile Monopoly work, plus 2 hours on the Ultimate Sales Machine. Plus saw Toy Story 3 and had a quick Scrabble game. This was probably the best productive day I've ever had, and I'll do it again tomorrow. 6am start.
Friday, 6 August 2010
06-08-10
Sauna'd and watched 2 hours of Curb.
Then played Beatles Rock Band - 2 sightread FCs.
In between, went to the sauna and saw the Olympic swimming team. Contemplated how there was nothing I have to do. Contemplated the vast openness of what that means for my own intuition. A life without any stress. A life where you trust God.
That also means a life without fear of death. Something I have expertly blocked in myself. Grief, anger and depression have been the orders of the day.
Life seems to be me blindfolded on a boat with monkeys who either want to fuck and eat everything, and there's a bomb that's set to go off at any moment.
So how do you defuse the bomb?
Oh, that marketing video was scary.
But here are the stats - send Budwig 350 to the 17th, save up 140 for Suffolk, send in 360 to moneybookers. 6-8 weeks.
Get bonuses - 6-8 weeks. 5-8000 pounds.
Start trading - up to 50k a year - 6-8 months.
MEDIA FAST:
No Facebook, Imdb/Digg/Digsby/DR/LB/unlisted shit/YouTube (except for music)
1xGmail, GTD
LOTS of calling, GH, inbox, MD
Then played Beatles Rock Band - 2 sightread FCs.
In between, went to the sauna and saw the Olympic swimming team. Contemplated how there was nothing I have to do. Contemplated the vast openness of what that means for my own intuition. A life without any stress. A life where you trust God.
That also means a life without fear of death. Something I have expertly blocked in myself. Grief, anger and depression have been the orders of the day.
Life seems to be me blindfolded on a boat with monkeys who either want to fuck and eat everything, and there's a bomb that's set to go off at any moment.
So how do you defuse the bomb?
Oh, that marketing video was scary.
But here are the stats - send Budwig 350 to the 17th, save up 140 for Suffolk, send in 360 to moneybookers. 6-8 weeks.
Get bonuses - 6-8 weeks. 5-8000 pounds.
Start trading - up to 50k a year - 6-8 months.
MEDIA FAST:
No Facebook, Imdb/Digg/Digsby/DR/LB/unlisted shit/YouTube (except for music)
1xGmail, GTD
LOTS of calling, GH, inbox, MD
Thursday, 5 August 2010
05-08
OPEN:
Life as business.
Financial plan.
Practical spirituality plan.
The emotional component against all of these is EVERYTHING.
Life as business.
Financial plan.
Practical spirituality plan.
The emotional component against all of these is EVERYTHING.
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
03-08-10
Watched Top Gun - crap. Tom Cruise is smooth though.
Finished the DdA material.
Reading the Ultimate Sales Machine. INCREDIBLE. Run my life like a business.
Finished the DdA material.
Reading the Ultimate Sales Machine. INCREDIBLE. Run my life like a business.
Sunday, 10 January 2010
11-01-10
Wow, a lot's happened.
CLOSED:
Paid off debt.
Finally finished GH3 on Expert mode. NEXT - kill the 8 4*'s left. Then back to Rock Band.
Learned about Seductive Reasoning. Incredible. NEXT - apply.
Watched all of Derren Brown's TV shows and took notes. NEXT - apply.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSgcSPOe5U NEXT - learn this shit!
OPEN:
Go to the Post Office, drop off all stuff.
Simplify, simplify, simplify. Screen your time and energy MUCH more thoroughly. If you're not there yet, there's a reason for it under post-test, guaranteed. Scoff all you want, time has proven it true, just apply it all deeper than you're willing to. You'll have to push past the person you think you are to get to the person you REALLY are. This is important. Today will not matter in 10 years otherwise.
I want to succeed at all costs. Friendship, parties, sleep, small things, parents, all come second to the person I want to become. Those affirmations are going to come true. come hell or high water. There's nothing else to do anyway. But the way through to them now, is into a new part of me. It's through the really excruciating pain locked up in my heart. Gravity's pulled me there, to the new territory I have sought for so long. Time to speak the truth in the face of creating an environment I can actually stand to live in, with two recurring elements missing: the right people, and the right me. Then the rest will take care of itself.
The core issue itself might be so deep it's just never been even considered, just a foundational bug in the system. A kind of 'what? I've been here all along, no wonder you haven't seen me.' And there are so many of those going on it's freaky. Outer culture, inner ontological shocks, shifting state and repression. Those are the 3.
Now, picking a subcategory in the first of those: school life; awful, and largely self inflicted - the only way to gain any approval between a nihilist culture and a selfloathing family, was to play 'being a freak' to the hilt, even though I died inside from doing that. Here are a few more - fucked up religious history, bad parenting, diet, ingrained culture, biases, trust issues, and being a man.
I want to run up to people and hug them without making them uneasy.
I want to tell people I love just how much and how deeply I love them, every single day, and empty my heart without guilt or repression.
I want to powerfully enter myself and take that new person into the heart of someone else.
I want glory, success, and power.
I want the freedom from my old self, to heal my own weaknesses.
I'm gentle, loyal, passionate, loving, and innocent, and I will stand up for that as truth, as something that can never be touched. In 10 years today will not mean a thing. It has to be used in the service of bettering me right now, and cleaning out everything that is not me.
So as an individual with his own energy, an uneducated history of insecurities that come and go at will, and the need for secure intimacy, this is my conclusion: Set your standards, defend them with a killer instinct, and instead of bitching or trying to crawl, use the power they contain in the service of the level of success that makes you giddy with joy. That's your only responsibility. Let that open your heart up because it won't do it itself. And then you're alive. And at that point, you've won the game and don't need to work at any other area. No more mediocre achievements, shallow relationships, or emotional wounds: do you have joy? Do what it takes to get there. All thoughts - ALL THOUGHTS - are open loops waiting to be closed. Just dig deep till they close.
As I type those words it starts triggering an imagination of an inner fractal universe. Inside is the true world, outside is the dream (or nightmare). This can't be faked or replicated. It's alive. It's like what I can imagine Coltrane or Holdsworth tapping into. When you're in the spirit world purely of your own creation - and that's the goal, without any barrier - then you're THERE.
OK, this could all be empty emotionally triggered ranting - or it could be the doorway to the real me. It's impossible to tell and so frustrating. Self deception covers its tracks.
Let's see.
CLOSED:
Paid off debt.
Finally finished GH3 on Expert mode. NEXT - kill the 8 4*'s left. Then back to Rock Band.
Learned about Seductive Reasoning. Incredible. NEXT - apply.
Watched all of Derren Brown's TV shows and took notes. NEXT - apply.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSgcSPOe5U NEXT - learn this shit!
OPEN:
Go to the Post Office, drop off all stuff.
Simplify, simplify, simplify. Screen your time and energy MUCH more thoroughly. If you're not there yet, there's a reason for it under post-test, guaranteed. Scoff all you want, time has proven it true, just apply it all deeper than you're willing to. You'll have to push past the person you think you are to get to the person you REALLY are. This is important. Today will not matter in 10 years otherwise.
I want to succeed at all costs. Friendship, parties, sleep, small things, parents, all come second to the person I want to become. Those affirmations are going to come true. come hell or high water. There's nothing else to do anyway. But the way through to them now, is into a new part of me. It's through the really excruciating pain locked up in my heart. Gravity's pulled me there, to the new territory I have sought for so long. Time to speak the truth in the face of creating an environment I can actually stand to live in, with two recurring elements missing: the right people, and the right me. Then the rest will take care of itself.
The core issue itself might be so deep it's just never been even considered, just a foundational bug in the system. A kind of 'what? I've been here all along, no wonder you haven't seen me.' And there are so many of those going on it's freaky. Outer culture, inner ontological shocks, shifting state and repression. Those are the 3.
Now, picking a subcategory in the first of those: school life; awful, and largely self inflicted - the only way to gain any approval between a nihilist culture and a selfloathing family, was to play 'being a freak' to the hilt, even though I died inside from doing that. Here are a few more - fucked up religious history, bad parenting, diet, ingrained culture, biases, trust issues, and being a man.
I want to run up to people and hug them without making them uneasy.
I want to tell people I love just how much and how deeply I love them, every single day, and empty my heart without guilt or repression.
I want to powerfully enter myself and take that new person into the heart of someone else.
I want glory, success, and power.
I want the freedom from my old self, to heal my own weaknesses.
I'm gentle, loyal, passionate, loving, and innocent, and I will stand up for that as truth, as something that can never be touched. In 10 years today will not mean a thing. It has to be used in the service of bettering me right now, and cleaning out everything that is not me.
So as an individual with his own energy, an uneducated history of insecurities that come and go at will, and the need for secure intimacy, this is my conclusion: Set your standards, defend them with a killer instinct, and instead of bitching or trying to crawl, use the power they contain in the service of the level of success that makes you giddy with joy. That's your only responsibility. Let that open your heart up because it won't do it itself. And then you're alive. And at that point, you've won the game and don't need to work at any other area. No more mediocre achievements, shallow relationships, or emotional wounds: do you have joy? Do what it takes to get there. All thoughts - ALL THOUGHTS - are open loops waiting to be closed. Just dig deep till they close.
As I type those words it starts triggering an imagination of an inner fractal universe. Inside is the true world, outside is the dream (or nightmare). This can't be faked or replicated. It's alive. It's like what I can imagine Coltrane or Holdsworth tapping into. When you're in the spirit world purely of your own creation - and that's the goal, without any barrier - then you're THERE.
OK, this could all be empty emotionally triggered ranting - or it could be the doorway to the real me. It's impossible to tell and so frustrating. Self deception covers its tracks.
Let's see.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)